


What is a man's cherry?

by cantprovewhoiamlmfao



Category: JoJoTubers, Youtubers, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Stands (JoJo), Drunk Sex, Drunk Shenanigans, F/M, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, JoJoTubers - Freeform, Loss of Virginity, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Short One Shot, YouTube, also river i am not calling you out, okay maybe a little dude but still, r63, sorry scrub but it was long overdue, yeah bitches i is back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:36:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24498802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantprovewhoiamlmfao/pseuds/cantprovewhoiamlmfao
Summary: A Scrub for Hire invites Riverdude Covers to her place, late at night, allegedly to record a video ("That's bullshit, but I believe it" Riverdude said). You can guess where that is going.
Relationships: Riverdude Covers/A Scrub For Hire, Riverdude/Scrubette, Riverscrub, Scrubberdude
Kudos: 5





	What is a man's cherry?

**Author's Note:**

> the quarantine gave me time and messed up ideas lmfao
> 
> many thanks to my lovely proofreader/co-writer, you know who you are <3
> 
> is this what i am doing with my account, just jojotuber porn? hell yeah i'm awesome. now i gotta start writing gay
> 
> as a note: for what little time my other fic was relevant i saw a few people shortening it to "horny rain". i approve. since i suck at titles, this one can be shortened to "man cherry" (top kekyoin reference)

Nathaniel didn’t have to wait for long before the door opened. He stood there, hiding his unease as best as he could as he was greeted by the woman in the Weather Report hat. She very visibly eyed him up and down and let him in.

“Hey.” She greeted him casually as she closed the door behind them.

“Um… hi Scrub.”

“Glad you could make it. You look… nice.”

The hesitation in her voice made Riverdude feel a bit self-conscious, but she paid no mind to him. She just grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her bedroom. He was still astonished at Scrub’s forwardness, even now as he got to know her better over the months. He couldn’t quite feel at ease and broke the brief silence.

“Okay, I need to know why you asked me to come over here, at this hour at night, where I could perfectly record my lines at my own place on my own time.”

“It just wouldn’t be the same.” Her answer was as brief as her stay in the bedroom. River was left to his own devices, and even though Scrub could be a bit carefree or careless, he still knew he wouldn’t get away with snooping through her stuff. Or at the very least, the alluring half-opened panty drawer right beside her bed. Was that a…?

“Here you go.” Scrub suddenly came back with two glasses and a bottle.

“Wait… alcohol? You know I’m underage, right?”

“Has that really stopped you before? What is one year exactly?”

“365 days.” 

“Ha! You know what I meant, smartass. It’s fine either way, you’re under adult supervision.”

“Scrub, you’re not precisely a responsible adult either.”

She just laughed the comment off and poured some gin on both glasses. River may be kind of a dumbass sometimes, but at least the boy had enough wits to connect the dots. Most likely, they weren’t actually going to record shit, but at the very least Scrub was willing to entertain her excuse for a while.

…

The bottle had already been emptied by the time both voice actors managed to cook up a half-decent skit in between drunken bantering and laughing.

“Hahaha! Why did you say it like that!? Hahaha!”

“I don’t know! But it sounded right didn’t it?”

“Riverduuuude! Heh heh…”

Scrub’s fit of laughter brought a lot more redness and heat onto her face. Riverdude could feel the heat radiating from her inebriated body, so much that he unconsciously took his jacket off and tossed it aside, causing Scrub to mimic him and also take off some layers of clothing.

“Ooh, it’s getting a bit hot and steamy here, or is it just me?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I feel weird. What did you put in my glass?”

“Booze, what else, ya dumbass.”

“Scruuuuuub…”

Her strenuous laugh was made even more boisterous by her drunken gestures. She threw herself so far forwards that she fell off the bed and her hat yeeted itself off her head. River wasn’t sober enough to properly help her up and he ended up falling over her too. At this point, Nathaniel had completely forgotten his suspicions, and yet, something inside of him felt like it was escalating, thudding, throbbing deep inside him. Still laughing, he stared at Scrub’s intoxicated expression. She was blushing heavily, her skin was hot to the touch, her face was one of undeniable bliss, what with the wide-open mouth and half-lidded eyes, even her bun was coming undone. He thought she was really cute like this, quite a contrast from her usual smartass sarcastic personality. His first instinct was to untie Scrubby’s loose bun and maybe stare at her now slightly exposed cleavage.

“HAHAH! This is great! Fucking great!” she didn’t even notice her scrunchie being tossed aside. “I don’t even know if I’ll end up editing this without laughing my ass off hahahahaha!”

River didn’t say anything or even attempt to move over. Scrub’s wild hair: a mix of spiky and frizzy dark locks were spilling down onto the floor and on her shoulders. Amid her still somewhat hysterical snickers, she had slipped her hand onto River’s and guided it to her shirt. He tried to yank it away, but she grabbed his wrist.

“Riverdude…”

“What are you doing?”

“Heh, you want me to come clean?”

“… YES? PLEASE?”

“Okay! Okay… heheh…”

Scrub’s laughing fit was coming to an end, slowly but surely as she stood from the floor. Nathaniel managed to help her up and they sat on the bed together. His still somewhat tipsy demeanor was more subdued than Scrub’s despite his lesser resistance to alcohol. He was still wondering why he was even there, and what the hell did she want from him? If he didn’t know her at all, he’d believe she’s seducing him… or at least setting him up for some kind of prank.

“You see…” Scrubby started talking “You complain way too much, dude.”

“…Oh really?” he tried to sound completely neutral to that statement. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t at least mildly offended.

“Not gonna sugarcoat it for ya. We’re JoJotuber buddies and all, but one can read so many pity-inducing tweets about someone’s unwilling virginity before getting annoyed.” 

“…No fucking way.” He caught on.

“I figured. If you’re so frustrated and desperate for coochie, you might as well want any coochie, right?” Nath was getting progressively more mortified with every word Scrub said. “Ohhh poor Riverdude, fucking twisted monster virgin crying because no gee-eff.”

“That’s enough, Scrub. Shut the fuck up.”

“What? I’m not lying.”

“I don’t want to fuck you.” He said sternly and calmly.

“You want to fuck, though. What, now that someone’s throwing herself at you you refuse?”

“I don’t want you to pity me.”

“Too fucking bad, then! You ought to think that kind of stuff before whining on twitter! What, are you somehow hoping one of your subs dms you and asks you to hook up or some shit? Please!”

“Well, why do YOU want to hook up with me!?”

“I haven’t had any dick in 2 months.” She said just as matter-of-factly as all of her previous statements.

“OH, COME THE FUCK ON.”

“It’s just sex, Nathaniel! After this, you will know what the fuck you’re doing with a girl, this is your chance to be a fucking virgin and screw up or something. We’ll never speak of this again if you don’t want to. Unless you want to be fucked in the ass by some guy?”

“Ugh, I’m not gay… your attitude fucking sucks, you know?”

“People still like meeeeeee. Dudes still want to fuck meeee…”

“Do you actually hook up with dudes while wearing that damn hat?”

“Don’t change the subject. Okay, fine. You can leave with you want, unfollow me on twitter, ignore me, whatever. Dick is everywhere and so is pussy.” She emphasized that last part with a rude gesture.

They stayed still and silent for a while. Scrub didn’t have the heart to outright kick him out of her place and River didn’t want to keep fighting with her, even as she touched a lot of nerves. Conversely, the older voice actress knew she was being tactless even though she didn’t want to apologize or even admit it, and on his side, the offer was tempting.

“Apologize then.”

“Huh?”

“Scrub.”

She sighed. This was going to be weird. But they were both strangely aroused by their banter and the non-zero level of alcohol in their systems. 

“I’m sorry, Nath.” And she sounded sincere.

So what if Riverdude was slightly offended despite his analysis by Scrub being mostly accurate?  
So what if Scrub was horny and came up with a weird plan to kill two birds with one stone?  
The bottle was empty, but the glasses weren’t. Scrub reached for her glass and chugged the remaining liquid down in one gulp. River, still not as experienced with booze, cautiously took sips from his own glass. Still, he now had the pleasure of seeing Scrub undressing. She began unbuttoning her shirt and sliding her skirt down her long legs. The heat from the alcohol helped his forthcoming erection, and Scrubby noticed, what with her slight smirk growing as she carefully removed her pantyhose. She gave him an aside glance, as if to ask him: how long is he going to take finishing his drink? 

“Leave that glass aside and lay down. I’ll show you how it’s done.”

Internally screaming and still fully dressed, Nath complied. Scrub almost voraciously pulled down his pants, boxers and all, and a devilish grin formed in her still hot and flushed face. His dick size wasn’t all that impressive, maybe a little bit below average, but Scrubby didn’t mind. She made intense eye contact with River as she lowered her mouth and took him all in. Nathaniel quite audibly groaned, and in response, Scrub sucked. Hard. With one hand in tandem with her mouth, and with the other one pleasuring herself. 

“Oh god…”

Just what was this woman doing with her tongue? How was the sight of her inebriated face bobbing up and down such a strong impression? Was it the alcohol that made it feel so hot and moist? And why, just why, did she have to moan like that? It wasn’t quite torture, but when she removed his cock from her mouth, which was awfully slobbery and messy, he felt like he could breathe normally.

“This… was just to prep you up a bit. Get ready.”

Even though River was resting on his elbows, he could clearly see Scrub unfastening her black bra and letting her mature breasts bounce. Who would have thought that under her Spike Spiegel-like suit she was such a cougar?

“Oh, right. Reach into my drawer, there are condoms there.” Of course, she wasn’t going to let him in raw. Still, Nath did as he was told, and by the time he got a good look at Scrub again, she was already fully nude.

He handed her the condom, and she showed him how to open the package and put it on. Scrub pinched the tip and rolled the rest down his shaft. Then, she reached for Nathaniel’s hands and guided them to her hips as she inched in closer, hovering over his exposed crotch. The 20-year-old man broke into a cold sweat after realizing what was about to happen.

“A-ah…”

Scrub’s warm inner walls quickly enveloped Riverdude, and he couldn’t repress the gasp that came from his soul. She giggled while lightly rocking her hips. River’s heartbeat quickened by the second, and every time he exited Scrub only for her to come back down abruptly, he had to repress his desperate moans. Scrub’s vagina was flexible but tight; it was quite an experience for River, to feel a real woman’s wetness, the sensation of being swallowed, the burning pit in his stomach and the shock running all over his body, from head to toe.

“Haah! Ohhh you’re doing great. MMMH!” the older woman moaned quite loudly.

She removed her hands from Nathaniel’s and leaned forwards to support herself on the bed, giving Nath the opportunity to see her double damns up close. His hands remained firm on her hips even though he was really tempted to explore her body, squeeze her, play with her. With every obscene sound coming from Scrub’s body, Nathaniel felt like he was being pushed to the edge. He didn’t want it to end so soon, he couldn’t help it. His groin was on fire. He just wanted release from the buildup deep in his gut.

“Scrub. Scrub! I’M ABOUT TO- OH! NNGH!”

He tightened his grip on her hips. Scrubby’s face wasn’t one of surprise nor annoyance. She was feeling smug. She lightly hummed as River’s spastic hip movements hastened and then slowed down. Once he was completely empty, he threw his entire body back, hands to his head.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” He was so ashamed for having lasted so little, but Scrub didn’t seem to mind. She did tell him he could be as much of a virgin as he wanted… even though as of a few minutes ago, he wasn’t.

“It’s cool.” She got off of him quite casually, her pussy and thighs dripping with fluids. “I can teach you something else now.”

River needed a moment to catch his breath. He closed his eyes and gasped for air on Scrub’s bed. He could feel her removing his soiled condom, and he was left with his pants around his calves, half-hard, but not quite tired. Scrub grabbed his shoulder and he opened his eyes. 

“I need you to eat me out.” She said, quite matter-of-factly.

“What.”

“You heard me. You as a straight guy should really know how to do this properly. Even if you can’t get me to cum, I’d still expect you to do a better job than… hmmm… most men who have no fucking clue on how to eat pussy after this.”

“Jesus…” his face became flushed again, but Scrubby paid no mind.

“Let’s start simple. Just finger me for a while first.”

Short and to the point, but he was still lost. It was as if Scrub was speaking Russian. Again, she paid no mind to his hesitation and laid down beside him, spreading her legs like no big deal. He was about to enter unknown territory, and even with Scrub’s guidance, he didn’t feel ready. In preparation, the younger man removed his shirt and tossed his pants aside.

“Start by tracing my cunt with a couple of your fingers. I count on you being a smart enough boy to know what I like without me outright telling you so.”

He did as told. With his index and middle finger, he lightly circled around Scrub’s opening, which was warm and moist. Nathaniel wasn’t sure if he wanted to go straight for the bullseye, so he wandered up and down. In response, Scrub squirmed lightly, reached for his free hand, and directed it towards her boob. They both shared a quick glance. Even though Scrubby was the one being intimately touched, she smirked, somehow causing River to panic and harshly brush her clit.

“Ack!”

“Sorry!”

He went back in with slower and smoother motions. Since Scrub was already dripping wet, Nath had no difficulty in circling around her sensitive area, trying to tease her by occasionally poking her clit and sliding his fingers near her entrance, adding his other hand that was busy squeezing the female JoJotuber’s breast. She squirmed every time River brushed his fingers near her clit, and he noticed it quite clearly when she contracted her muscles. He didn’t know if he should ask her what to do, and he wasn’t quite running on autopilot since he knew damn well where each of his hands were. Riverdude settled on inching closer to her chest and assaulting her nipple with his mouth. He sucked and lightly bit her. Scrub arched her back, and in a moment of ingenuity Nathaniel reached inside her. His fingers were trapped in Scrub’s tight muscles as much as her nipple was trapped in his mouth and being toyed with. 

“Ah! Th-that’s more like iiiiit! Oooohh!”

Wet hints of pleasure were spreading from where Scrubby was being sucked, and simultaneously, the sensation of Riverdude’s fingers; the pressure on her weak points and the constant rubbing of her insides, it was enough to make her feel a burning sensation from deep inside. She arched her back, curled her toes, bit her lip, and yet nothing would stop the lewd sounds her body was causing. She could only manage to speak when the younger guy stopped sucking on her tit.

“Hey, Nathan- wait, what are you doing?”

She didn’t realize at what point was the back of her knee resting on River’s shoulder nor when he started lowering his head down her stomach and towards… oh.  
The tip of his tongue twirled delicately in tandem with his drenched fingers. Scrub was already enjoying herself more than she thought she would, but this was the first time that night where she couldn’t quite handle the pleasure. She looked straight down, but Riverdude didn’t meet her gaze; he was too enthralled in exploring Scrubby’s womanhood, trying to pinpoint which spots were the most likely to make her squirm and writhe on her bed.

“Oh shi- HOLY HELL I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID BUT DON’T FUCKING STOOOOP!”

Nathaniel kept licking and sucking on Scrub’s clit, prompting her to grab his hair. In response, he pressed his lips on hers, and at this point Scrub was going mad with pleasure. She was screaming, twisting around, the raunchiness of her gestures slowly preparing River for another go at it. When he separated his face from her pussy, she complained, but after realizing he was heading towards her panty drawer, she instantly flipped around. Literally. The boy was so concentrated in putting on a fresh condom that he paid no mind to the sounds of sheets shuffling, and next thing he knew, he got an eyeful of Scrub booty. Scrub booty being rubbed by her own hand.

“Come on dude, fuck me. I can’t take it anymore just fuck me please.”

More blood rushed towards both his face and his penis. Even as dazed as he was, he still felt overwhelmed by the sight of A Scrub for Hire, smartass voice actress extraordinaire, on all fours, begging him to have his way with her. He could only kneel behind her and aim for the hole that was being helpfully emphasized by a desperate trembling hand. He slid in easily, earning another cry from Scrubby.

“AH! A-ah! Ohhh fffffuuuuuck… MMMH! MMHH!”

River was firmly grasping Scrub’s hips, thrusting into her rhythmically, as deep as he could. Scrub was steadily losing herself to River’s touch, curling her toes, grasping the sheets, actively pushing herself against River’s groin. While he wasn’t exactly level-headed, he seemed more restrained in his grunting and panting. His mind was fragmented on giving Scrub a good shagging and at the same time getting off again, he couldn’t think of anything else, as though someone set a smoke bomb on his brain. It didn’t help that Scrub wasn’t shy at expressing how much she was enjoying herself, both in screams and body language.

“OH MY GOOOD! NATHANIEL! NATHANIEL, I’M CUMMING. OH GOD! AH! HAAH!”

He knew. She didn’t have to say it. It was obvious for him, he was the one feeling her muscles contracting rapidly around his dick, getting hotter and wetter by the second. Whatever grunts may have left his mouth were dwarfed by the intensity of Scrub’s deafening orgasm. He shot his load as deep inside as he could despite the condom and once he was completely empty, both in lust and cognitive capacities, he removed himself from Scrub and stood up from the bed, and quickly threw the condom into the bin near her desk. When he turned to look at Ms. For Hire, she was already under the sheets.

“Um… so…” he scratched his head, trying to look away.

“We don’t need another go at it if you don’t want to. You did great. Now get in here.” Scrub said in her usual tone of voice as she tapped the side of her bed that was empty. “I’d say you earned it.” He complied.

Nathaniel slid under Scrub’s bedsheets and was welcomed by her arm resting across his chest, with her tits pressing against his own arm. Both JoJotubers were still feeling the heat in their bodies and the scent of sex in the air. He closed his eyes in an attempt to clear his mind and numb the still recent feelings of sexual pleasure, but it was easier said than done with a nude, voluptuous woman panting right next to him. They stood like that for a while in their mutual attempt to fully get off of that sexual high, for a long time, with minimal shifting in their positions. Finally, Scrub broke the silence.

“I wasn’t lying or sugarcoating when I said that you did good. I really meant it; I wasn’t faking it. I bet any girl who may sleep with you in the future will be incredibly pleased.” She didn’t raise her head, but she heard River sigh in response. “But what about you? How did you feel?”

No response from Nathaniel. Scrub lightly jostled his shoulder.

“Hey, Riverdude. I’m talking to you.”

No response yet again. Scrub caved in and lifted her body to look at his face.  
He was fast asleep. She laughed.

“Yeah, guess you’re staying the night then.” She giggled as she flipped the light switch next to her bed.


End file.
